Warning: Dalam cerita, terdapat beberapa isu yang sensitive dan juga 18sx, sensitive people should avoid further reading and close down this blog immediately. :D
Di sini, ada beberapa cerita yang lucu-lucu yang harus kamu baca...hehee ...
mungkin, terdapat diantara kamu sudah membaca cerita ni...maybe daripada your email, or sms.... walauapapun JOM, baca sama-sama...
First Story (DESERT DELUSION)
There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He had been traveling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man turned to his camel. He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused by running away. So he caught up to it again and got on it again.
Finally, after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came to a road. There was a broken car with three big chested beautiful blondes sitting in it. He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help. The hottest girl said, " if you fix our car, we will do anything you want." The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash. When he finished the three girls asked, " How could we ever repay you Mister?" After thinking for a short while he replied, " Could you hold my camel?"
*****
2nd Story (LITTLE JOHNNY IN SCHOOL)
Lesson in Philosophy
A teacher asks her class, " If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on the little Johnny. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gun shot" The teacher replies " The correct answer is 4, but i like your thinking," Then little Johnny says " I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice-cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice-cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied " Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone" To which little Johnny replied, " The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but i like your thinking."
******
3rd Story (MIND YOUR LANGUAGE)
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, " Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a WISH when you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true." The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immerse himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted "SHIT!!!!!!!............"
Lesson Learn: "Think twice before you say something, because sometimes accidents do happen".
*********
4th Story (NOT OVER MY DEAD BODY)
An elderly women died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, " They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.
**********
Funny FACTS about MARRIAGE
1. Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspect him, and after death she respect him.
2. There was this guy who told his woman that he loved he so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married-and now he is going thru hell because of her
3. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:? Either the car is new or the wife.
4. It's easy to tell if a man is married or not. Just watch him drive a car with a woman sitting beside him. If both his hands are on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.
***********
HOW TRUE IS THIS????
"How TO IMPRESS A WOMAN...?"
Wine her,
dine her,
call her,
hug her,
support her,
hold her,
surprise her,
compliment her,
smile at her,
listen to her,
laugh with her,
cry with her,
romance with her,
believe in her,
cuddle with her,
shop with her,
give her jewelery,
buy her flowers,
hold her hand,
Write love letters to her,
Go to the end of the earth and back again for her.
" HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN.....?"
Show up naked,
Bring food
******
"How TO IMPRESS A WOMAN...?"
Wine her,
dine her,
call her,
hug her,
support her,
hold her,
surprise her,
compliment her,
smile at her,
listen to her,
laugh with her,
cry with her,
romance with her,
believe in her,
cuddle with her,
shop with her,
give her jewelery,
buy her flowers,
hold her hand,
Write love letters to her,
Go to the end of the earth and back again for her.
" HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN.....?"
Show up naked,
Bring food
******
Okay stakat ni ja la funny story yang sy ada untuk di-share kan... ampun dan maaf jikalau ada yang terasa.... semua cerita ni teda kaitan dengan hidup dan mati... lawak semata-mata ja.... hohoho
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